Be still and know...

As you may know, we are currently 8 days past Baby Stake's due date.  Now, I could rant and rave about how frustrated I am and how I don't understand this.  But I won't right now.  (I did that yesterday).

The last few weeks, I have been trying many things to 'jumpstart' labor.  Walking, bouncing on my yoga ball, eating spicy foods, getting massages, etc.  Maybe things have been helping, as I am at 3cm and 80% effaced, but nothing has actually brought on labor.  Yesterday, I got pretty frustrated with everything and even started to question God's timing.  After work (which I was NOT happy about having to be there), I went on a walk with a friend.  Then I made a SPICY dinner.  Then I sat on my yoga ball. Then I made Zech rub my ankles.  Nothing.

But right before I went to bed, I had a thought.  A conviction really.  What does it mean that I am trying to do all of these things to bring on labor?  The answer that popped into my head immediately?  I am not trusting God and His timing.  Now I have nothing against all of these 'tricks', but for me it was saying that I wanted to control this and make it happen on my own as it appeared God wasn't helping.  Now that is the wrong thing to think.  So right after that thought came to me, another thought popped into my head.  It said "Take a day and do nothing that would 'help' with labor.  Simply rest and wait. Stop trying to take control of something you can't." Where did that come from?

These kind of thoughts pop into my head often, and I always wonder if it was my thought or someone else's--such as God.  In this case, I really had to wonder.  Was I saying this, thinking that if I stopped doing things, then God would see this and then make the baby come?  Basically me just using this as another way to control it.  Or, was this God, really telling me to stop and rest in Him?  To be still and know that He is God?  I talked to my wonderful and supportive hubby and he believed it came more from God than from me.  That this was what I really did need to do.  Of course I am tempted to think that God will then bring the baby, but I am praying that instead of thinking that, I can really focus on God's ultimate control and timing.  That yes, I do need to stop and rest and trust in God alone, not some old wive's tales.  Ultimately, God knows my thoughts and my heart.  He knows the situation and He really is controlling it.  I may not understand His timing, but that shouldn't be a reason for me to doubt His power and wisdom.

So, today I am trying to be still and know that HE is God.  I am going to try to rest in His presence.  I will not do anything to intentionally try to bring on labor.  I may clean the apartment a bit, or work on some crafty things, or organize some stuff.  Maybe spend time with a friend.  But I will resist the temptation to control this pregnancy.  This might be tough...but I know I can do it.  And, today I decided I will not complain.  That can seriously get in the way of trusting God!!

Until next time...peace :)